16th May 2014
Over the last few weeks I have had lots of hospital appointments in various departments to see many professional people. I’ve had growth scans for the baby, seen obstetric consultants, obstetric anaesthetists, physiotherapists and orthopaedic consultants.
Some weeks I have felt like a permanent fixture in the waiting areas and I have even bought a new tote bag to carry around my hand held pregnancy notes (I say carry, I mean sit on my lap as I’m pushed around on my wheels). I really like bags so this was no hardship.
The reality of the situation is that I am not going to make it to the full 40 weeks. Although things have improved greatly due to having my lovely hospital bed at my Mum’s house and my pain relief changing from a low, pregnancy safe, dose of Codeine and Morphine to the more constant pain relief of slow release Morphine, I need to have surgery on my back soon.
If I had not been pregnant this surgery probably would have taken place about 8 weeks ago. I need to have a Microdiscectomy which means that the surgeon will operate on my lower back. He’ll go in with a microscope and take the part of the L5 disc that is pressing on my S1 nerve, causing all of my pain, away. For this to happen I need to be out cold under a general anaesthetic for about an hour and a half. If I am under an anaesthetic then so is the baby in my tummy and it’s just a little bit too risky, so the decision has been made to wait until I have the baby and then I can have my back surgery a few days later.
Scary biscuits!!!
At the end of March my pain had got so bad that I was admitted into hospital overnight while they tried to figure out what to do with me.
Pregnancy and prolapsed discs do not mix well as I can’t take any anti-inflammatory medications and some of the pain relief I would normally have been prescribed were definite no no’s for me too.
I have slipped a disc before, when my twins were around 9 months old. I was able to take Diclofenac, Codeine and Amitriptyline and these, along with regular chiropractor appointments, meant that I was back to normal within a couple of months. It did mean that I had to sell my tickets to the Take That Circus tour, this was a bad day. At that time I could only lie on the floor, so when I felt like I wanted to have a full on tantrum due to selling my tickets, I was well placed to do so. Being able to kick my legs around and bang my fists on the floor would have had a better effect, as it was I just had to lie still and look unimpressed.
This hospital stay this time around was a real blessing in the end as it introduced me to a full night’s sleep, courtesy of an electric hospital bed. I loved being able to get into a position where I could feel slightly normal and not have the piercing, burning pain constantly.
I was assessed by physios, anaesthetists and orthopaedic surgeons. I thought at one point that they were going to give me a type of long lasting epidural to combat the evil pain but it was decided that this would not be suitable as I needed to be aware of the pain getting worse in case things got really bad and I became a candidate for emergency surgery! Never did I think I could feel so disappointed and upset about not having a massive needle stuck into my back.
There really wasn’t very much that could be done for me in hospital, due to me being preggers, so I was sent home the next day with a frame for the toilet and a perching stool to help me get washed and brush my teeth. Seeing as we were at the point where either my husband or my Mum were having to help me have a bed bath each day, I looked at these aids as big pots of gold at the end of a bad back rainbow. And they are amazing. A good friend of mine pointed out that some celebs have been embracing the old lady look recently, dyeing their hair grey and going out in pimped up wheelchairs (Lady Gaga), so I figure I’m just ahead of the times and everyone will be rocking a perching stool pretty soon.
Three days after being discharged from hospital things got pretty bad again. I couldn’t sleep at all due to the pain. I couldn’t get away from it, there were no positions I could lie in to feel any respite and I couldn’t walk the 8 steps to the toilet without hyperventilating. I spent about 3 hours crying constantly and uncontrollably as it was all that I could do. I like to think that I have a high pain threshold but this had beaten me. My husband was on the phone to the hospital and my GP but there wasn’t really anything anyone could do for me.
What was it that had happened in hospital that made me feel a little better? The hospital bed! The genius piece of technology that meant I could lie in a secure position without having to prop myself up on pesky pillows that would rearrange themselves at a moments’ notice, inducing excruciating pain.
My GP, who has been wonderful, got on the phone that afternoon and arranged for a hospital bed to be delivered to my Mum’s house the following day and it has been a revelation. This was also when my medication was changed to the slow release Morphine and, for me, they have been the dream team. The ultimate combination of pain relief that has said “Screw you prolapsed disc, we’re winning now!” My super heroes!
Eight weeks on and due to these amazing aids that I have been provided with by the wonderful NHS, I have regained a bit of independence and even managed to go back to my own house for a few days.
I’m hoping that all this means that I’ll be able to keep this little one in his cosy little temporary home for a bit longer before he is born and has to go into the Special Care Baby Unit to help him be weaned off the Morphine that I have to take. I have another scan and consultant appointment next week and I have my fingers crossed that they’ll let me try to keep him in the bump until at least 36 weeks before they induce me. We also have to consider whether I am going to try to have him naturally or have a C-section. I might leave that one to the professionals as when I think about it too much it makes my brain hurt.
It’s funny that when I was pregnant with my twins I was considered high risk and had been prepared for all sorts of things to go wrong and in the end I had an amazingly straight forward pregnancy and uncomplicated, natural birth. When I found out we were pregnant with just the one this time I thought that it would be a walk in the park and it turns out that there are even more risks and potential problems to think about, typical!
The good thing is that I can now see a light at the end of this very long tunnel and I am focussing on that. I may not be sure of exactly how things are going to pan out, how well my baby will be, how successfully my back surgery will go, but there is an end in sight.
I can’t wait to be able to walk around in the sunshine, pushing my new baby boy in his pram with his brothers scooting along by my side. This may sound simple to most people but never take the little things for granted, for me this would be bliss and the day that I manage to do it will be the day I have a massive smile on my face!
Letty Mack 